


The Consulting Gig

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: BSU [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 08:02:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2421209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can I say something without sounding like a complete paranoid nudnik?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Consulting Gig

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing a series within a series with this first story. The show is called BSU (Behavioral Sciences Unit - and because of BS) and its basically what Criminal Minds would be if it was run by fic writers on Showtime.

Emily grabbed her buzzing Blackberry from her hip, looking at the picture Penelope Garcia sent. It was Erin Strauss walking through the bullpen with the text ‘ _troll spotting_ ’. She grinned, coming out of her giggly mood just as the Section Chief approached her desk.

 

“Good morning, SSA Prentiss.”

 

“Good morning,” Emily stood. She hated the idea of Strauss looming over her. She would not give the blonde the satisfaction.

 

“Emily Prentiss, this is Andrew Hirsch from Showtime. The network is developing a drama about a team of FBI profilers. There was a decision made in Washington that you would spend some time with Mr. Hirsch; give him an idea what the BAU is all about.”

 

“Really? Well I…I don’t know what to say. Was my Unit Chief made aware of this?”

 

“It wasn’t his decision,” Strauss replied. “It was mine.”

 

“Yes ma'am, but we are constantly on call.” Emily said. “If we are called into the field…”

 

“Mr. Hirsch will accompany you.”

 

“Civilians do not belong in the field.” Emily could barely curb her tone.

 

“I am not asking you to strap him in Kevlar and give him a Glock, Agent. This assignment is important to people in DC as well as my office. They want to make sure that our agency is shown in the most positive light possible. Experience has taught us that cooperation, even minimal, is to the advantage of all parties involved. Over 50 agents were considered for the job and you were chosen.”

 

Emily nodded, putting on her best debutante smile. There was no use fighting with Strauss right now…she had the upper hand. Emily hated being caught off-guard and she would make her pay for it later.

 

“I will leave you to it.”

 

Strauss turned and walked away. Andy smiled, extending his hand.

 

“That was uncomfortable,” he shook her hand. “Andrew Hirsch.”

 

“Emily Prentiss.”

 

“Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss.”

 

“Sometimes.” She nodded and smiled. “So you work for Showtime?”

 

“In the television department.”

 

“So are you the person I should kick for canceling _Huff_?” she asked.

 

“No ma'am,” Andy held up his hands. “I don’t destroy, I create.”

 

“Mmm hmm. I had better introduce you to my Unit Chief. I can tell you right now that his not being consulted on this is going to be a problem.”

 

“Thank you for the warning.” He followed her up the stairs, standing behind her as she knocked and poked her head in Hotch’s office.

 

“Yes Prentiss.” He beckoned her in with his hand.

 

“Good morning, Hotch. This is Andrew Hirsch from Showtime Television.”

 

“Are you the one responsible for the cancellation of _Huff_?” Hotch stood and extended his hand. “Aaron Hotchner.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Andy smiled. “As I told Agent Prentiss, that wasn’t me, sir.”

 

“Well what can we help you with, Mr. Hirsch?”

 

“Showtime is in the process of developing a show about FBI profilers.” Emily replied. “Washington thought it would be a good idea to consult; to make sure it’s as accurate as possible. I was just informed this morning by Section Chief Strauss that I was chosen as that consultant.”

 

“Excuse me?” Hotch raised an eyebrow. “No one said anything to me about a consultation.”

 

“That’s what I said, sir.” Prentiss nodded. “She informed me that the final decision was hers.”

 

“Excuse me.”

 

Hotch walked around his desk and out of the office. Andy looked at Emily.

 

“Have I walked into a landmine?” he asked.

 

“Welcome to the BAU. C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the rest of the team.”

 

He nodded, walking out of Hotch’s office with her.

 

“So Agent Hotchner is a Unit Chief?”

 

“Yes.” Emily replied.

 

“What is that exactly?”

 

“This bullpen is a unit. Forty or so agents are under Agent Hotchner’s command. There are about 7 liaisons, a variety of tech analysts, admins…it can get busy.”

 

“And Erin Strauss?”

 

“She is a Section Chief. The US is cordoned off into sections. Chief Strauss handles Pennsylvania through the Carolinas. Every field Agent and Unit Chief in those states falls under her jurisdiction.”

 

“Who is above a Section Chief?” Andy asked.

 

“Various people in the Deputy Director’s office. There are currently two Deputy Directors of the FBI. Hey guys.”

 

Morgan, Rossi, Reid, and JJ were all in the kitchen perfecting their coffee. Emily introduced Andy around, explaining who he was and why he was there.

 

“Before anyone asks, I had nothing to do with the demise of _Huff_.” He said with a smile.

 

“What about _Weeds_?” Morgan asked. “That was a great show.”

 

“Mary-Louise Parker.” Rossi added, smiling.

 

“I create, not destroy.”

 

“Showtime wants to do a show about us?” Reid asked.

 

“Not you in particular, Dr. Reid, but FBI profilers. I have about 72 hours to find out as much as I can about who you are and what you do. I've been told Agent Prentiss is the best.”

 

“By whom?” Emily asked. “I am nothing without my team and our leader.”

 

“Prentiss,” Hotch walked into the kitchen. “I need to see you in my office please.”

 

“I hope to see liaisons in this show.” JJ said as Emily and Hotch walked away. “Our jobs are often overlooked but integral to the functioning of the BAU.”

 

“I definitely don’t know why anyone would want to overlook you, Agent Jareau.” Andy replied smiling. “We certainly want to come as close to accurate as possible. With dramatic license of course.”

 

“Which means the men will be over-muscular and the women skinny and chesty.” Rossi said.

 

“And blonde most likely.” Reid added.

 

“Showtime is usually better than that.” Morgan said. “I would at least expect a redhead.”

 

“There is nothing wrong with blonde.” JJ said.

 

***

 

“I did not want to be caught in the middle of this,” Emily stood in front of Hotch’s desk, ready to take his wrath. “I was not aware of any of it and did not ask nor desired to be picked.”

 

“At ease, soldier.”

 

He did not smile, it was rare to see Hotch’s dimples at Quantico, but his hazel eyes were soft.

 

“Mr. Hirsch will be with us for the next three days. If we go in the field during that time, he will accompany us but will not enter into any dangerous situations. As the liaison, Mr. Hirsch will be with you, Prentiss. I will not be granting him interview and neither will the other agents.”

 

“I left him in the kitchen with the team, sir.”

 

“That’s fine. Introductions and pleasantries are fine. I do not want his presence here to be any more of a distraction than it already is.”

 

“Yes sir.” Prentiss nodded. Hotch grabbed his legal pad, quickly writing something down and showing Emily. ‘ _Why are you calling me sir_?’

 

She took the pen and pad, scribbling a response. ‘ _Because surely she is listening_ ’. Hotch nodded grimly, hating the reminder that she was spying on him.

 

“Thank you Prentiss, that’s all I need.”

 

“Thank you sir.”

 

Emily walked out of the office. Andy stood by her desk, smiling when he saw her. He smiled a lot she noticed, but she might be happy too living the Hollywood high life. Nah, she probably wouldn’t be.

 

“Your family?” he held up a small framed picture. “They are picture perfect.”

 

“That is my father and sister.”

 

“Is there somewhere we can go and talk…I would like to get started.”

 

“Sure, of course.”

 

Emily took the picture back, placed it on her desk, and had him follow her to the elevator.

 

***

 

“She’s up to something.”

 

“Hello to you too, Hotch.”

 

Emily walked into her bedroom with a beer much later that night. She didn’t even know if she had the energy to drink it but she would surely try. Hotch got off the bed, standing in front of her. Emily smiled as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. The cold beer on his back made him shiver.

 

“I didn’t like the way he looked at you.” Hotch whispered, hardly wanting to be away from her lips.

 

“How was that?”

 

“Like he was going to make a move on you.”

 

“Not one move…one hundred subtle ones.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

She could hear the annoyance in his voice as he took the beer from her hand and went back to sit on the bed.

 

“What do you expect, Hotch? He is a man, I am a woman…I could not exactly tell him that my boyfriend was watching over him like a hawk. He is a nice guy, a smart guy. If he really listened to me I think Showtime could have a hit on their hands.”

 

“What about tomorrow?”

 

“What about it?” Emily took off her jacket and then pulled her shirt over her head.  
  
 

“He’ll still be there.”

 

“I am really hoping we get a case.”

 

“That’s so you won't have to do that paperwork on your desk.” Hotch replied, grinning.

 

“Ha ha,” she went into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. “Andy wanted to name a character after me but I am sure the Bureau wouldn’t go for that. Not that I am the only Emily Prentiss on the planet.”

 

“He wants to name a character after you? Showoff.”

 

“I heard you.”

 

“You were supposed to.”

 

“Anyway, I explained the Bureau would go apeshit so he asked if I could develop a character what would she be like.”

 

“What did you say?” Hotch asked.

 

“Her name would be Trish Fitzgerald. Monied Irish Catholic, but definitely not political family…I was thinking more banking, insurance, or something in finance. She would be Ivy League educated and dedicated to her job, which her family thinks is a bit beneath her station in life. She would be a fiery redhead who was compassionate, intelligent but had her own share of demons. Andy asked what her vices would be. I said cigarettes, liquor, and older men in positions of authority. Then, and I swear Hotch I almost fell off my chair, Andy says ‘she is probably sleeping with her boss’.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Dead serious. I just developed my first television character. He says he really wants to fashion it after a real BAU team. Four agents, one liaison, one or two tech analysts…a real ensemble cast. It’s an exciting thought though surely only about 30% will be casework. The rest will be nudity and personal demons. Its cable; I certainly wouldn’t have it any other way. Oh and they can't use BAU…Andy said they will probably use Behavioral Sciences Unit, like in the _Silence of the Lambs_.”

 

Emily came out of the bathroom, dressed in his boxers and her bra, and jumped on Hotch’s lap. He made an ‘oof’ sound as he pulled her close and handed her the beer. She took a healthy swig before handing it back and watching him do the same.

 

“Can I say something without sounding like a complete paranoid nudnik?” Hotch asked.

 

“Nudnik?” Emily raised an eyebrow.

 

“It’s a real word and fits the situation.”

 

“Say it; I'm intrigued now.”

 

“I can't help but feel,” his large, smooth hands moved across her naked lower back. “That Erin Strauss knows about us and she is trying to use Andrew Hirsch to put a rift between us.”

 

Emily smiled.

 

“I know. I know it sounds insane but…”

 

“Actually, the thought crossed my mind more than once today.” Emily replied.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“I am. I doubt she knows about us; Strauss cannot see past her own nose. I think she is trying to drive a wedge between the team. We are all ambitious, love our work but of course hope to move through the ranks in due time. When I introduced Andy to the team, he told them he had heard that Prentiss was the best. I quickly put a stop to that kind of talk.”

 

“She is a shameless, hateful woman.” Hotch said.

 

“She will not succeed in whatever she is hoping to accomplish.” Emily ran her fingers through Hotch’s hair. She smiled when he moaned. “I am definitely not going to let her make any trouble for you and I.”

 

“I can admit to experiencing some jealousy. The way he looks at you, with that goofy grin, two more days of that might drive me insane.”

 

“Oh Secret Agent Man, there are many more exciting ways to drive you insane. Shall I list them?”

 

“That might be nice.” When Hotch grinned, his dimples shone through.

 

Emily kissed him hard, pushing her breasts against his chest. Hotch held her tight.

 

“I told him that I was involved.” She whispered.

 

“You did?”

 

“Mmm hmm. There was really no point in letting him think he had a chance. That’s a bit cruel.”

 

“He doesn’t have a chance in hell.” Hotch replied, rolling them on the mattress. His tongue moved across the hollow of her throat. When she hummed satisfaction, he felt it and liked it. “You belong to me, Emily Prentiss.”

 

“Do I?” she lifted the tee shirt over his head, stroking his chest.

 

“Yes. I know the exact spot on your body that will literally make you lose your mind. I also know the one thing guaranteed to make you laugh no matter how bad your day was. I even know where your secret stash is hidden.”

 

“My secret stash of what?” Emily moved her thighs apart, bringing his body close to hers.

 

“Everything. There is some chocolate, cloves, and a box of very interesting, shall we call them, erotic movies.”

 

“You found my movies?”

 

“Mmm hmm. Why don’t we watch them together…you don’t have to keep anything secret from me. I think I might enjoy a little girl on girl action.”

 

“I bet you would. Watch them together?” her lips teased his. “That might be taking things to a new level you know.”

 

“Is there something wrong with that?” Hotch asked, unsnapping her bra and nuzzling her breasts.

 

“Mmm, if you like it then I love it.”

 

“Well, I love it,” his tongue flickered across her nipple and the ring attached. “So how do you feel about it now?”

 

“Ecstatic!” Emily exclaimed. She brought his face to hers, cupping his cheeks. “I love you, Aaron Hotchner, you know that right?”

 

“The feeling is mutual.” His kisses were soft and sweet. Hotch reached over and turned out the lamp. “We are about to get into the things you will only see on Showtime.”

 

Emily laughed, surrendering to his touch and her feelings.

 

***

                                                                                                          



End file.
